Putting it bluntly we could say that the people pleaser is a liar.

我们可以坦白地说，讨好者是个骗子。

The people pleaser feels sulky and betrayed because they were angling for adulation and gratitude.

讨好者会感到生气和被背叛，因为他们是在谋求奉承和感激之情。

Selfishness in its most basic form is thinking of yourself and that's what a full-on people pleaser does.

自私最基本的表现形式是为自己着想，这就是一个彻头彻尾的取悦他人者所做的事情。

For example, the older child — thought to be a people pleaser, responsible, reliable, cautious but perhaps bossy and controlling.

例如，大一点的孩子——被认为讨人喜欢、有责任心、可靠、谨慎，但也可能是专横且控制欲强的人。

The truth can be uncomfortable and perhaps you need some explanation on how being a people pleaser is actually selfish.

真相可能会让人不舒服，也许你需要一些解释——为什么讨好别人实际上是自私的行为。

It's also easy to be a people, pleaser, a people.

也很容易成为一个人民, 取悦, 一个人民。

Maybe we're people pleasers or we are uncomfortable in difficult situations.

也许我们是取悦别人的人，或者我们在困难的情况下感到不舒服。

When parents are overbearing and have high demands for you, it puts you at a higher risk of being a people pleaser.

当家长严厉督促或对你抱持高度期许，这很有可能让你变得爱讨好他人。

This accidental perpetrator category are people pleasers, people that are team players, and that's a lot of us.

这种意外肇事者类别是取悦他人的人，具有团队合作精神的人，而我们中的很多人都是这样。

As they are constantly worrying about garnering disapproval or being dismissed by others, the people pleaser will try to be recognized and accepted by everyone.

因为他们总是担心不被认可或被别人忽视，所以讨好者会努力被每个人认可和接受。

When the people pleaser insists on helping despite their own needs and wants, it sets up a situation where the other person owes the pleaser.

当取悦者不顾自己的需要和欲望坚持帮助别人时，就会造成另一个人亏欠于取悦者的情况。

[Jane] Not my dog. My dog is very introverted and he's not a people pleaser. He's more of a cat in dog form.

他更像是一只化身为狗的猫。

It would be about setting boundaries in order to reassess that balance, because even people who pretend they're not people pleasers, they actually are.

这将是关于设定界限以重新评估这种平衡，因为即使是那些假装自己不讨人喜欢的人，他们实际上也是。

Building off the last point, the people pleaser's own insecurities make them constant external validation hunters; which involves also proactively baiting the trap for approval and not just responding nicely when asked for input.

从最后一点出发，讨好者自身的不安全感让他们不断寻求外界的认可，这也包括主动地引诱以获得肯定，而不仅仅是在被要求提供意见时做出友好的回应。