I hope that you and the president don't dislocate your shoulders by patting yourself on the back, saying, good job.

我希望你和总统在怕打后背来鼓励你说“干得好”时不要让胳臂脱臼。

Pat yourself on the back, you deserve it.

拍拍自己的背，你应得的。

You want to, maybe, open it up afteryou're done patting yourself on the back?

你可能做梦想过 打开看过再自夸不迟？

You ever tried to pat yourself on the back and don't go back there cause it don't belong back there.

你曾经试图拍拍自己的背，但不要回到那里，因为它不属于那里。

Well, then why don't you stop patting yourself on the back and start telling me what the hell it is?

那你就别等着人夸赶紧说吧？