Everything here seemed of such a magnificent type to her eyes that she felt confused, diminished to half her height, half her strength, half her prettiness.

这里的一切在她眼里都是那样的华丽， 让她感到困惑， 缩减到一半的身高， 一半的力量， 一半的美貌。

For what, I sometimes wonder; so that she can struggle to breathe through most of her life feeling half her strength, and then die of self-poisoning, as her grandfather did?

有时我纳闷：自己这样做到底是为了什么？难道是为了她今后大半辈子有气无力地挣扎着呼吸，然后再像她外公那样自己把自己毒死吗？